The Working Retired

The bedside alarm goes off. It’s 6:30 in the morning. Lorraine Farr, 76, gets up and out of bed. She brushes her teeth, combs her hair, and puts on her causal uniform for the long day ahead, consisting of a cheerful pink t-shirt and jeans. She ties the shoelace of her athletic sneakers with orthopedic pads inserted in them. Farr is preparing for her eight hour shift in the local school cafeteria.

Farr is a part of a growing group of senior citizens who have had to make many painful choices in recent years. A 2006 study by MetLife, a leading provider of insurances discusses the changing landscape of the aging workforce. According to the research, many Baby Boomers expect to continue working at least part time as they move into what have traditionally been thought of as the “retirement years”.

“You gotta do what you gotta do. A lot of people say that I have more energy than most 40 year olds. So I have to take advantage of the energy that I have now, and make as much money as I can,” Farr said.

Farr is a grandmother of six and lives in a New Jersey condominium, owned by a family member; she pays over $1000 a month. The white walls of her home are covered in happy pictures of her family. The fragrance of her rose-scented perfume lingers in the air. The Social Security benefits that she receives on a monthly basis merely cover the cost of her rent.

In 1997, she decided to leave Connecticut, where she’d spent 14 years surrounded by the comfort of her family and friends, in order to be more financially secure. With the rising cost of rent in Stamford and the lack of jobs in the area, she had to make ends meet somehow. She says relocating to another state was her only choice. Farr says her cost of living in New Jersey is less of a burden; she was able to quickly find a job as kitchen manager at a local elementary school, working over 40 hours a week.

Farr is far from being alone.

The MetLife study points out that 15 percent of the respondents said they were “working retired” and between the ages of 55-70. These are people that were previously retired and then returned to the workforce and/or are actively seeking work. People in this grouping were already receiving retirement benefits from a previous employer, but for a variety of reasons they decided to return to the workplace either full-time or part-time.

Each week, Farr may bring in up to $300 a week from her job, which provides her with the opportunity to save for the future and any unexpected situations that may arise.

“One never knows what the future holds. I’ve got to be careful with every dollar that I make,” she said.

Her past time isn’t knitting nor baking cookies like the grandmother many have seen in Hollywood’s glorified movies. Instead, Farr’s week days consist of planning meals for the hungry school children and leading the cafeteria staff in various duties. Every Monday, 8AM sharp, rain or shine, Farr finds herself back in her Gold 1997 Saturn, maneuvering out of her one-car garage. She finds herself en route to another day in the school kitchen.

The hopeful notion that many Americans share is that Social Security benefits will cover all expenses once retirement age hits. Evidently, this is more of a dream than a reality for many existing and expectant retirees.

In order to aid people who are in similar situations as Farr, the National Council on Aging (NCOA) awarded grants to 10 organizations nationwide for the purpose of finding and enrolling older Americans and younger adults who are economically unstable and/or with disabilities, and provide them with support from public benefits programs. These Benefits Enrollment Centers were created specifically to assist eligible people in paying for prescription drugs, medical care, food, or utilities.

"The economic downturn makes the work of Benefits Enrollment Centers even more important,” said Jim Firman, president and CEO of NCOA. “Millions of low-income seniors and adults with disabilities are struggling to meet their basic needs. Many are simply not aware of all the programs available to help them achieve economic security, or they need assistance in applying for them.”

Farr recognizes her financial strain each and every day she wakes in the morning and realizes that working is not really a choice; she says it’s a necessity to living a comfortable life.

“This is all I tell my grandkids about. They are probably so tired of hearing it but it’s so important to invest in a retirement fund as soon as possible or else they’ll be in the same predicament that I’m in,” Farr said, “And that’s not something I want my family to have to experience.”

With the “R” word creeping up on numerous Americans, it’s no longer a happy time for many, rather a period doused with fears of how they are going to stay afloat. According to a 2011 study by the Employee Benefit Research Institute (EBRI), an organization that produces original public policy research and education on economic security and employee benefits, nearly three of four workers (74%) expect to continue working after they retire. The study proved that an increasing amount of seniors are feeling less confident in their plans for retirement.

An AARP survey states that 40% of baby boomers plan to work “until they drop”.

“All you can do is keep truckin’ and wish for the best,” Lorraine Farr said, as she sat at her dining room table after a long day in the kitchen. She happily rips up garbage mail, and grudgingly writes checks for the bills that just arrived.

Things don’t seem to be changing anytime soon. A recent survey by the Employee Benefit Research Institute states that 24% of current U.S. workers admit that they have postponed their planned retirement age at least once during the past year, up14% from 2008.

Many Americans possess concerns over the prospect of Congress cutting Social Security and Medicare benefits in order to lessen the federal budget deficit. In a correspondence from U.S. Senator Joseph Lieberman of Connecticut, he expressed his thoughts on the positive aspects of Social Security, and the current economic challenges the country faces.

“The payments Social Security provides are essential and the peace of mind and stability that go along with the money, no economist can quantify,” said Lieberman. “However, the combination of baby boom retirements, an aging population, and our current budget crisis threatens the solvency of the program. Social Security continues to face projected long-range financial problems.”

Some of Senator Lieberman’s efforts have been placed on reducing the budget deficit and national debt. He actively seeks to save Medicare for those that need it.

“In my view, any reforms that address Social Security's long-term solvency must preserve the guaranteed nature of the retirement benefit and protect low- and moderate-income retirees who depend on the benefit,” said Lieberman.

Despite her monetary struggles and busy work schedule, Lorraine Farr stays positive.

“I don’t love having to go to work every day, but psychologically it helps me because everyone else is working too. It’s important to be around people and spend time socializing. It’s self-fulfilling.”

"These three great objectives-- the security of the home, the security of livelihood, and the security of social insurance-- are, it seems to me, a minimum of the promise that we can offer to the American people. They constitute a right which belongs to every individual and every family willing to work..."

Franklin D. Roosevelt- Message to Congress, June 1934

HIV Still Prevalent in Connecticut’s Low-Income Neighborhoods

           
            Data concerning HIV/ AIDS has been released today by the state Department of Public Health carrying good and bad news.

The report reveals a steady decrease in the number of new cases of people diagnosed with HIV in Connecticut over an eight year period (2002-2009). The bad news: there is a consistent pattern of people living with HIV in Connecticut’s low-income cities such as Hartford and Bridgeport.

            The HIV epidemic has had a significant effect on the economically deprived in certain urban neighborhoods. Reports by the Centers of Disease Control (CDC) have shown that people in low-income neighborhoods are more likely to be infected because they live among more people who are infected. In these cases, the CDC reports that it’s possible that people living in such impoverished areas have experienced illegal drugs or had other encounters, putting them at higher risk.

The recent report from the Department of Public Health confirms that towns which are financially fragile hold the highest numbers of people living with HIV. Over the 2002-2009 period, the city of Bridgeport had a total of 592 new cases of HIV, which ranks second highest in Connecticut.

The town with the highest numbers of new HIV cases is Hartford with an astounding total of 747 cases in the past eight years; the percentage of people living with HIV in Hartford compared to all other cities in Conn. is 17%; over the past few years, Hartford has been the poorest municipality in Connecticut.

“In the United States, we haven’t had a history of looking in depth at the association between poverty and HIV,” said Dr. Jonathan Mermin, director of HIV/AIDS Prevention for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, in a recent interview conducted by AP Medical Reporter, Mike Stobbe.

There is still a stigma that exists around HIV/AIDS which prevents some people who live in low socio-economic areas from seeking testing, prevention and treatment services. They either don’t take advantage of the resources because of lack of education, or their towns simply don’t offer these types of service to the public.

 A Bridgeport woman says she and her husband have found peace, but it wasn’t easy. She lives in a small two-bedroom apartment in a low-income complex with her four children and husband, who was diagnosed with HIV while in his mid-twenties. Perez is not their real name. In the interest of their children, they did not want to divulge this information.

When she first met her husband, she had no idea he had the disease.

“He looked normal, like a healthy guy,” Mrs. Perez said. “When he told me, I wanted to slap him. I had no idea what this meant for me and for our future,” Mrs. Perez said.

After taking months to think about it, they got married and decided to have their own family.

“The disease is always on the back of my mind, but my love for my husband is stronger,” Mrs. Perez said. “It hasn’t always been easy, but our doctors have been helpful.”

Her husband contracted HIV from a previous sexual experience.  Mrs. Perez explained that her husband only has low levels of the HIV virus in his blood, which has allowed her and the children to stay clear of contracting the virus. Mr. Perez is on a daily regimen and seeks counseling frequently. Their family gets tested for the disease every few months.

Health experts conducted a study in Africa in 2000 which suggested that people with very low levels of H.I.V.  in their blood are unlikely to spread the virus to others. The results of this study have not been confirmed, but Mrs. Perez and her family are a living example.

The recently released information from the Public Department of Health shows that out of all Connecticut towns, New Haven, which happens to be one of the lowest socio-economic cities, actually had a significant decrease of 23 new HIV cases compared to last year.

Despite an unknown future of the health of her family, Mrs. Perez tries to look on the bright side.

“We’re not a rich family, that’s for sure,” Mrs. Perez said. “But God is good.”

Cyber Bullying: The Evolution of Bullying

Passing notes under desks during class and calling one another names during recess have been the traditional ways of bullying for the past few decades. Cyber bullying has proven itself to be the modern means of harassment for many young people.

With access to various type of networking communities like Facebook, MySpace and Twitter, some young people are easily becoming victims of malicious behavior from their peers through the internet.

“Certainly in this generation, children are very busy online, or with their cell phones. A lot of times, the kids are staying up late, engaged in communication with friends or other people, so you want to have an eye on what’s going on. That’s part of the parent’s responsibility,” says Child Psychiatrist, Dr. Cornelia Gallo of Westport, Conn.

Text messages, photo comments, and wall posts are all ways in which numerous young people are communicating with one another.  All it takes is a few taps of the keys on the keyboard, or a couple clicks on a cell phone, and a mean message can be transmitted to its receiver.  Bullying no longer has to be done face-to-face.

Julia Romaniello, a student at Dolan Middle School in Stamford, Conn. says she’s heard of fellow classmates being victims of bullying.

“I don’t know their names, but I know they’ve been talked about and made fun of,” Romaniello said. “It must make them feel bad and emotional.”

Romaniello has not been a victim of cyber bullying, but she is aware that it happens and that it doesn’t help the young person’s state of mind.

According to Romaniello’s mother, Linda Romaniello, the middle school staff frequently reminds students that if they need to talk to someone, their school psychiatrist is on the premises during school hours.

“When you’re upset, you can go during class or anytime you want to talk to her,” said Romaniello.

With the recent attention that cyber bullying has received, schools have jumped on the band wagon in hopes to prevent bullying of any sort in their schools. Linda Romaniello says that Dolan Middle School was planning on implementing a parent information night.

“It was postponed due to inclement weather, but I believe they’ll have it again. It was all about bullying and cyber bullying.  With what you hear about teen suicide, I think we can never do enough,” Linda Romaniello said.

Bullying has been related to several teen suicide cases. On April 21, 2011, MSNBC reported a double teen suicide in rural Minnesota, where two eighth-graders, Haylee Fentress and Paige Moravetz, allegedly felt isolated and estranged from their classmates.

After a sleepover at one of the victim’s houses, the two girls hanged themselves in what family members and authorities believe was a suicide pact.

According to MSNBC, officials at the school where the two girls attended (Marshall Middle School) declined to comment on any bullying allegations. MSNBC reported that evidence proves there was friction between the girls and their classmates. Just weeks before their deaths, family members say, one of the girl’s was expelled from school after getting into a fight to defend her friend when other students allegedly harassed her.

“Maybe we should have paid closer attention,” Haylee’s cousin, Hillary Settle, told Today’s, Meredith Vieira. “Maybe everyone should have paid closer attention.”

Suicide is the third leading cause of death between the ages of ten and 24, according to the National Alliance of Mental Illness. Cyber bullying can be harmful and in some cases deadly. Dr. Cornelia Gallo suggests for parents to monitor changes in their children’s behavior.

“Observe your child’s behavior, whether they are avoiding certain activities or situations, or if there are any changes in their sleep patterns and socialization. If their having issues with their school work, or their peers, these are all a warning signs,” said Dr. Gallo.

Dr. Gallo stated that studies are showing up to 50% of children are being bullied and that it can be as benign as one child making rude or offensive comments, to where children are actually being stalked and are worried about their physical safety.

“I have had many patients who described different levels of bullying and I think it really depends on the child and how resilient they are to that type of behavior. Some are able to brush it off, some advocate for themselves or go to their parents and others suffer in silence,” said Dr. Gallo.

The combination of parent involvement and school prevention techniques are essential in lowering the threat of bullying and cyber bullying.

“It’s about self esteem and instilling the right values in them so that they know not to accept it and not to do it to others,” said Linda Romaniella. “I think the message should be it’s okay to tell somebody if you’re being bullied or see it. You have to get involved.”

Show some love on Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is like sushi. You hate it or you love it; there’s no middle ground.

I happen to enjoy when February 14 comes around. I feel bad for those of you who detest Valentine’s Day because there’s really no way to avoid it; everywhere you go, the Valentine's Day stamp is imprinted, for what seems to be an eternity. Co-workers  start recieving roses from there significant others, pharmacies stack heart-shaped boxes of chocolates on it's shelves, and gas stations hang cheap paper cut-outs of cupid on their storefront. Businesses of all types are taking advantage of the meaning of this "holiday" and many of us fall for it each and every year.

Sorry folks- if you don’t like Valentine’s Day you may have to go into hiding for about a month.

This lovey-dovey day is not only one where women of all ages can look forward to receiving thoughtful gifts from their lovers; it’s also a day to appreciate those extraordinary people you have in your life. It’s not just about your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife- it’s a day to recognize all the friends and family who you love and care for day in and day out.

Personally, I make it a habit every year to send out Valentine’s Day cards to those special people in my life. I know that it’s just a piece of folded paper with a cute image accompanied by a few words and that it’s probably going to end up in the garbage a few days after the holiday, but it’s the thought that counts.

My grandmother, for instance, lives by herself and all of her children and grandchildren live at least an hour away. I feel as though if the card that I send her puts a smile on her face, I’ve done my duty (for Valentine’s Day, at least).

Besides the gratifying feeling of sending V-Day cards out to my friends and family, I also look forward to a night out with my boyfriend of four years. However cliché it may sound, a romantic dinner at our favorite seafood restaurant is definitely what tops off this affectionate holiday. You can’t go wrong with a little lobster (even though my bf always wants to order oysters.. I wonder why?)

Whether you think of Valentine’s Day as merely a holiday created for retail shops like Hallmark to take advantage of corny people like myself, or if you enjoy the sweetness of it all, just remember to recognize all the people in your life who mean something to you.

“Life’s greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved.” –Victor Hugo

Giving more than a card and need some ideas? Check these links out.

SheKnows.com:

http://www.sheknows.com/holidays-and-seasons/articles/807286/100-romantic-ways-to-show-your-love-on-valentine-s-day

The Pajama Company.com:

http://www.thepajamacompany.com/store/home.php?cat=428&gclid=CLyFqL7xk64CFUFN4Aod8CGNKQ

Courtesy of Youtube- "Valentine's Day Gift Ideas 2012"

Leading Ladies

From Charlize Theron to Julia Roberts, female celebrities are constantly used as style icons by other less famous women like myself.

We see them glittering on the red carpet... We see them walking their dogs in Central Park (accompanied by their intimidating body guards) sporting their stylish jogging outfits... And of course we see them in glorified movies with their handsome leading man. Many of us idolize them for their confidence, poise, and of course their keen fashion sense.

Which leading ladies steal the spotlight?

I absolutely adore the "girl next door" appearance of actress, Rachel McAdams. With the release of her new film, "The Vow" co-starring the heart throb Channing Tatum, Rachel has stepped up her game, and is dressing to impress. Her natural beauty along with her carefree personality are just a few things that tweens, teens, and even mature women admire about her.
Check out this great MSN video: Rachel McAdams' Leading Lady Style

And what about someone a little bit more over the top when it comes to their fashion choices?

Beyonce, the leading lady of the girl-band "Destiny's Child" (currently a solo artist) is one woman who seems to know what she wants, and she gets it. Her style is sometimes considered risque, but overall she represents strength and drive. I'm sure she has her moments of acting like a diva just like every other female I know. Her passion for expressing herself through her music and fashion is refreshing and inspiring. You go girl!

Where did you get those shoes?!

All of us (especially women) have asked that question at least once in our lives.

I have to admit, it's more like an every day occurence for me! I have no problem approaching the stylish stranger who I've eyed across the store or where ever I happen to be and inquire about their fashion statement. Most of the time they don't mind, but there are always those incidences where the person either doesn't speak English (foreigners have great taste) or they look at me like I'm a crazy person. And unfortunately, today I had an experience just like that...

I was working my usual shift at a furniture retail shop where we get lots of upscale clientele. Celebrities are known to shop at our store all the time. There was a woman, probably around the age of 50, "click-clocking" around the store in these amazing grey suede wedges.

I don't usually wear anything with a heel since I already tower over people like I'm Shaquille O'Neal. But these wedges were only about two inches high; they were definitely do-able.

So I approached the woman and asked "Where did you get those shoes?" She turned around, scanned me up and down, and said "Oh, these old things. You wouldn't want them anyway. You're so tall!"

The facial expression she made was priceless. It was a combination of "you poor girl" mixed with a sort of disgust.

I wanted to come back with a response like, "The better to stomp on you, my dear." But since I have bills to pay, I graciously replied, "Well, you carry them off very well."

People can be mean.

I quickly got over it and moved on.